pie club

...mince pie mayhem

 

Pie Club 2015

It's still a knockout

Theres been an awakening, have you felt it? Really? Well, we have. Pie Club is back to guide you through the shelves aching with mincemeat treats and all things pastry-encased ready for Christmas 2015, partly using The Force, but mostly our lunch hour.

The sixteen finalists in our tournament draw have been selected by applying a comprehensive formula, based on variables including but not limited to: historic performance, number of previous appearances, and likely availability.

Look out for misfiring motifs, boozed-up inners, acid indigestion and shattered dreams...Bring on the pies!

Semi Final - Morrisons Signature vs M&S Classic - 10th Dec 2015
For all those fans of omens out there, the first time one of todays semi-finalists won this competition was in the year Revenge of The Sith was released, and rather fittingly went on to build quite an empire in the festive world. 2005s M&S Classic was a gateway pie, allowing M&S to dominate with their more expensive varieties for years to come.
Could their opponent, himself a defending champion, be standing on the threshold of greatness, as he bids to join the hall of fame by winning two on the trot? A lofty institution previously inhabited only by those of the Magic and Sparkle persuasion.
Lets turn back the clock for a re-run of 2014s Grand Final, and see whether it will be Revenge of the Slit, or The Phantom Morries
Morrisons Signature still safe M&S Classic still Pac Man
Morrisons Signature still safe M&S Classic still Pac Man
Morrisons Signature M&S Classic
How very confident it was to dispense with the pretty lid motif from 2014 to go au naturel this term. Im not sure Ill miss that gruesome crumbshot when this season is done, though. You may have spotted the photos are re-runs of the Quarter Final shots. Sorry, there was a disturbance in the Force. The red box continues to delight. Recently, my attention has drifted toward the fuzzy bowl of baubles in the background. Out of focus, but not out of my mind; I wager Ill have the Christmas Dinner table split 50/50 with a decoration or ingredient row.
Match Report
With only one split lid between the two as any form of aesthetic interest, these tops are begging for the game to begin.
MozSigs familiar powderpuff edge is soon routed by thick biscuity MSC cogging. Theres no need to debate that round, but bring on the inners!
No reason to stop for Moz big guns, as the heavily-appled spice mush surrounds each Yuletide sense, forcing home the warm brandy finish.
A wider gape than usual atop MSC suggests a call to arms for each branded vine fruit. Vostizza currants organise the chew while the cloven paste attacks the palate. MSC will not give up her GF berth without a fight.
Mouthfuls of MozSig manage to cut through the lasting MSC spice, but each time her elegance returns to combat MozSigs rough charm. This is Paul Nicholas versus Jan Francis from 1983s Just Good Friends crafted into butter pastry romantics.
And the winner is: As in the mid 1980s, the refined beauty has yielded to the charismatic rogue. Morrisons Signature repeat last years trick and outfox a very tasty opposite number.

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Quarter Final - Asda Extra Special vs Sainsburys Taste The Difference - 8th Dec 2015
Like The Apprentice, only six competitors remain in the contest. Our twitter feed @PieClubPC has recently twet an image to put this into a very visual context. Hope you spotted it.
Quarter Final three is a tale of two collaborations. Whilst Sainsburys have continued their tradition of farming out the better pies to Walkers, the ubiquitous Scottish biscuit brethren, Asda have broken free of their Pru Leith overlords to produce a spicy curio an act of real rebellion.
Just as an aside, you realise that the Radio Times Christmas edition is out now, dont you? Someone tell Noddy Holder to start on the Tixylix, hell be needed soon.
Asda ES, Life After Pru STTD are back and in greater numbers
Asda ES, Life After Pru STTD are back and in greater numbers
Asda Extra Special Sainsburys Taste The Difference
A rare crumbshot adorns this sleeve; one that looks worse than the reality. Whatever the dry, lumpy horror is on the cover, it isnt what lies beneath. The real pie is a joy to behold, and probably displays the boldest motif of all time, involving a five pronged snowflake. Try finding one of those NASA! Ever the optimist, STTD continue with their golden branding, despite a track record absent of recent glory. Walkers distinctive square pocket inner tray houses the fleshed-out lids sporting proud dual leaf motifs. What a mouthful.
Match Report
Side by side, AsdaES is dwarfed by the monster from North of The Wall. They may be wary but their pastry doesnt crumble un der pressure. Well actually it does, but in a good way, offering up a cheeky twinkle of spice as it goes.
STTD snaps off an edge in rigid defiance, barely willing to be bitten. Apple air accompanies the light shortbread influences.
We were all waiting to see if AsdaES could replicate their Indian style from round one, and the answer is yes, but maybe at 75% spice power. Still a prolonged chew though. STTD attempt to capitalise on the slight shift in expectations with their own heavyweight mouthful. The mash eventually gives way to allow STTDs improved gingery finish space to impress.
Undeterred, AsdaES slide out a genuine baked butter bite to open up the contest beyond the spice rack. STTD smother my gullet in another potent crystallised ginger attack.
This is too close to call, but call it I must.
And the winner is: I didnt see this coming. Sainsburys Taste the Difference have ambushed Asda ES with a more powerful ginger kick than anyone had ever imagined. Could it be STTDs year?

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